The Untraining of This Sea Priestess: A Work in Progress

I’ve made mentions previously that I’ve been going through therapy for a while now. Somehow, I keep getting my hands on or being asked to review books which seem to fit precisely where I’m at (and still stuck) in the moment that help me to keep moving forward. The Untraining of a Sea Priestess: A Practical Journey to Connect with Cosmic Water Wisdom seems to follow that flow for me.

In the first paragraph of the introduction, Stephanie says, "If you are reading these lessons for just the purpose of accumulating more knowledge, be careful, because you may fall into the sea and become more than you could have ever imagined." Well, at least she warned me! 

Right away, I was amazed and encouraged by Stephanie Leon Neal’s writing style. She knows exactly how to word things in a way that encourages you to take an honest self-inventory and question your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, but does so in a way that is perfectly validating and non-judgmental. It’s like having all the things a good therapist tries to teach you to do in general (talk confidently, be gentle, build your esteem, make changes without judging who you are or have been) and putting it into a spiritual/religious context that your therapist may not be able to provide. It’s beautiful, endearing, and much needed in our lives today.

In fact, this has been quite the struggle point for me in my own healing process of late. Esteem and worthiness issues have always been a battle ground of no-win for me and it's not hard to slip back into negative self-talk no matter how much progress I've made of late. Stephanie's words were perfect and in just the right context to help with the hurdles.

This book came to me in the thick of Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) for PTSD symptoms. Unlike the previous year of going through therapy (which was mostly just remedial training in areas involving mindfulness and goal setting, and getting fresh perspectives in these areas), CPT set my avoidance tactics into overdrive. Like, seriously bad. I don't think I've ever been so willful in my life. (For those unfamiliar, CPT is basically taking a negative thought and re-framing it to something more positive and equally believable - with a focus on the PTSD-inducing trauma event, of course). 

It wasn't just typical procrastination or even the weird "better than" thing I had going on last year (I already knew everything, so why did I have to spend so much time on it? - Duh. Because clearly I forgot to use it!). This time was like fighting against myself in an all out, metaphorical Battle Royale sort of way. Please. Don't. Make. Me. Do. This. I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyREALLY don't want to!

And then The Untraining of a Sea Priestess arrived. I wasted no time reading it, crying as Stephanie said the exact words I needed to hear.

I got about half-way through before hitting a bit of snag. Which makes a lot of sense given much of the untraining takes place in that first half and fit very well with CPT. Hitting a snag in therapy would equally be a snag in my untraining. So after sitting on it for a little while, I went back through and reread the first half, and used sticky tabs to mark important parts so I could turn to them quickly. Mostly phrases and points that stood out, but also exercises (like meeting the Sea Mother) that really brought me "home."

Again, this fit really well with my avoidance. One of my tabs is on: "If you... start saying to yourself, 'I can't do this; I am not good enough,' that is the worst kind of violence against you. It is like punching yourself in the face over and over; in the end you lose a little more of yourself... It is time to make a choice to move, make a choice to connect."

From there, I took my time reading the book. Letting days or even a week go by, just reflecting. Meditating on the imagery, watching underwater documentaries, or otherwise connecting. It was very clear by this point that I wan't just reading a book about a sea priestess path to write a review. I wasn't just reading for personal enjoyment or gathering knowledge. I wasn't just maybe surprisingly very open to the possibility of maybe this could be a path I could relate to. Like you'll sometimes hear in witchcraft communities, a teacher will tell the student, "You aren't learning. You're remembering," it was clear that I had reached the next phase in my remembering, and past experiences started clicking together in that "seeing the bigger picture" puzzle sort of way.

Fluid Art by Isabel, Sunshine Mama Studios
(this photo taken on my phone doesn't do the painting justice)

Synchronicities have been popping up all over since this book arrived. Lots of water related themes in dreams, books, movies. Just water everywhere. And when not water, then something else pointing me toward it. Like this painting here. One Friday evening after work it was nice and warm and I thought to myself: I pay for monthly downtown parking. The weather is great. My usual aches and pains are tolerable today. A three year old can handle a few city blocks. Let's go eat dinner someplace downtown. (Whoo! Look at me overcoming avoidance!)

As we turn a corner I am suddenly aware of other people. Doing my usual thing of just holding onto Gabe's hand and walking past, minding my own business, thankyouverymuch, and hoping to be about as invisible as I wished I were, a man suddenly says "It's a festival" as if answering a question no one asked aloud. At first I tried to ignore this man who is helping others with streaming flags across the street, but I look around and say, "Oh?" He goes on to explain they were having a little festival that Saturday mostly for kids and that there would be vendors and crafts and stuff. I thanked him, and Gabe and I went on our merry way to have dinner.

And we went back the next morning. Almost didn't. Procrastinated just a bit, but went back anyway. The very first booth there was this painting. I didn't get a good look at it at first because others were inquiring about it. I glanced and was about to walk away, but then I saw little paintings of what looked like ocean water and turned around. Then I saw this painting. I knew immediately it was mine. The pull, the way my heart says, "Hear me." Just staring at this painting, I hear the ocean, I feel my heart opening, my vibrations are lifted. I stayed put at that booth, waiting on other customers and through technical difficulties, refusing to budge until I had successfully paid for this painting.

Yeah, this beautiful blend of ocean, water, humanity, the universe and all of matter, magick, and spirituality isn't just a random collage of concepts. And The Untraining of a Sea Priestess didn't make its way to me just to be read and set aside.

Admittedly, I can see someone who is not familiar with ocean/sea/underwater environments struggling with some of the metaphors (although, I love them!). And there are some moments you’ll need at least some basic knowledge of spiritual/metaphysical concepts as well as some understanding of psychology and related terms. As such, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this book to someone who is completely ignorant or uneducated in these areas, mainly because it may leave them confused. But, with that said, if that same someone were eagerly willing to learn those things and doesn’t mind referencing other sources along the way, there’s no reason the basic understanding can’t be attained (which would make this book extra awesome for that reason).

And, yet, this path is definitely not meant for everyone. I suspect this will be one of those books that if you are meant for the Sea Priestess path, you will be drawn to it or it to you. Although not for everyone, I do highly recommend this book. Mainly because of the universal truths that apply to everyone found within the pages (along with the nurturing writing style and words of encouragement we all need!). But also because this book is most definitely for Sea Priestesses and Priests who need awakening and guidance, and you may not know that you are a Sea Priestess or Priest yet to be tapped.

As I complete CPT and find that there's still a lot of work to do that I'll be struggling with for years to come, I also finish this book. I sit on the Sea Priestess Initiation and know that it's coming. My Ego is still prominent as my mind struggles to heal from past traumas, giving Ego all the excuse it needs to be an ass. But I can feel the Sea wearing the Ego thin. There's healing here, and more steps to follow.

Blessings,
Evy

The Journey Behind Reviewing a Book

Last October, I was contacted by an author to read his book. At the time, I was having a very difficult time, to say the least. My new job (the absolute perfect job for me at present) took me out of state for a 6-week training. The first couple weeks were hell for me. The training itself was easy, but the financial aspect left me in a place of hell-bent self-prophesying a worst-case scenario. The last thing on my mind was attending to emails.

Ultimately, I found myself in a choice. The worst case scenario of my situation would have validated a thought that trying (at this thing called life) simply wasn't worth it anymore. I tried and tried, and all my efforts lead back to failure. So one day, I gave myself the right to have that choice. Keep trying and struggle fruitlessly, end it now, or have fun until that worst case scenario I was so sure was unavoidable and end it then. Seeing as how my son was with me, I opted for fun. We simply made the best of our circumstances and enjoyed ourselves.

The funny thing about that decision -- to just let go and take what the Universe was going to dish out -- was the result. The worst case scenario never came. It didn't even get close. In fact, life turned completely around, doors of positive opportunity and support burst open, and the world became a safe and manageable place again (even when it still sucks or tries to scare the shit out of you). The blessings are still pouring in. I would say "If I had known that it worked like that, I'd have done it years ago," but, honestly, the truth is you can't really know better until you just do it: Completely surrender to the ebb and flow. (Side note: To any of you who have ever heard me say, "I just want to be proved wrong," well, the Universe just proved me wrong and I'm eternally grateful for it.)

Last month, I finally sat down to catch up on all those emails I had intentionally ignored. I got back to that author. His name is Jerry McDaniel and his book is Channeling the Mothership. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant. My mind instantly went to alien conspiracy theories, and, while I do grasp a few non-conspiracy alien theories to be worth contemplating and finding the truth in, it's not really my area of expertise.

So I looked up the book to get a better idea of what it was about and was in awe. Questions about "are we alone or connected?" and topics dealing with intuition, mediumship, free will, karma, the Higher Self, etc. All things that had been on my mind and in line with omens and messages I had been receiving. This was definitely a book I needed to check out. I asked him to send it my way.

When Channeling the Mothership arrived, the very first thing I noticed was Jerry's message to me. Three words. Just three words, and all words I need to hear, need to remember, and need to work on. Jerry McDaniel is a psychic medium and clairvoyant. He reaches out to me at a potentially terrifying turning point in my life. He writes a message to me that resonates every part of my body. I think his Higher Self was having a good, long chat with my Higher Self while I was busy attending to my ego.

At first, I dived right in without wasting a second. That first chapter didn't include anything that was particularly new to me, and yet I was blown away by it. Great reminders and questions worth answering (even though I had answered some of them before). What a fantastic tool! And I was already building my list of people I want to pass this book onto; some like me who may not see it as new, but valuable, and others who it will be very new and much needed.

And then resistance set in. It wasn't immediately obvious that's what it was. It was the holidays and there was stuff (and more stuff) going on -- all different stories for another time. But there were slow moments and after-the-holidays moments and I was like, "I'm going to sit down and read tonight." But didn't. Oh, there were lists of reasons why. Exhaustion (oh, yeah, turns out my vitamin D is extra low this year. My bad), lack of time, other priorities, etc., etc. Eventually I did pick it up as intended, and it was like perfect timing all over again. The very things coming through to me were sure enough right here in the pages in front of me. I'm totally going to finish it.

But then I didn't. That resistance rushed in again. Only, this time, I called it what it was: Resistance. Why was  I resisting? What was I resisting exactly? How do I overcome it? What's getting in my way? On and on. Sometimes I asked the question and let it go (guilt has a way of doing that). Other times I sat with it. No idea. At least not yet.

Thankfully, Jerry reached back out to me to check if I'd had the chance to review the book. And, of course, guilt washed over me. Horrible, terrible guilt. No, I had not. Have to finish reading to write a review and I was being a very, very bad reader by not reading. But just as guilt has a way of making us turn away from looking at the things we don't want, it's also a super helpful emotion to motivate you to get your ass in gear. So I finished reading Channeling the Mothership.

I didn't do it right then and there, mind you. This is a book with questions. Questions that if you don't at least ask yourself (even if you don't have an answer yet), you aren't absorbing the messages this book provides. So I gave myself two nights, after getting my son to bed, to spend a couple hours reading, contemplating, answering questions, and making notes (at the back of the book are lined pages for you to write whatever you like on each chapter). When I finished it, I was happy. Not because I'd finished it, but because I thoroughly enjoyed it (and, yes, I chuckled at myself quite a bit when Jerry talks about resistance).

I wrote and published the reviews (the first draft was complete shit that failed to do any level of justice for Channeling the Mothership, so I scrapped it; I hope what you see published elsewhere encourages you to read this book). And now I'm writing up this long, little story about the experience of reviewing it. At least, that's what it probably sounds like to you.

The truth is, when I thought about writing up a blog post review of Channeling the Mothership, it didn't feel right. I love the book and highly encourage you to read it. But more importantly, we all understand that anyone can write a book about anything, have it published, and people like it. When it comes to discerning the truth, things get trickier. Whether it's the title, the cover, the style, or even the message within a book, we can be very skeptical. For me, it's easy to read Jerry's book and know that his messages are truth because they are messages I already have experienced or was in the midst of experiencing as I read it. For others, powers of skepticism can sometimes blind us from messages of truth. And for that, you need validation.

This post is the validation. I have never sat down with Jerry or had a full conversation (our emails are rather short and to the point; quite a feat for someone as verbose as me).  He has never given me a reading and I certainly don't recall any loved ones who've passed running it by me to seek him out. And yet, his timing to reach out to me, his three-word message to me, his book and the messages it brings, and his poke at my bewildering resistance speaks volumes. I don't know if it was intentional all along. I don't know if he consciously was aware of all this. (Given my experiences with intuition and psychicism, that's pretty close to never the case.) Still, he did it. That's legit in my book. And it speaks volumes to the validity of everything you find in Channeling the Mothership.

Thank you, Jerry!

Blessings,
Evy

Reading Fun for the Week of September 14th through 20th 2015

Wow. Talk about a major hiccup there. This post should have gone out yesterday morning, but I guess the alignment of some random thing or another just didn't let it happen (or I screwed up. I do that sometimes). Sorry for the delay. Here's this week's reading.

We're starting off with the Celestial Tarot deck again. This is a simple one-card reading for what Bewitching Momma readers this week need to know.

King of Cups

Emotions are front and center this week. Do your best to stand firm as what you send out will be taken at face value. Inside, you may want to scream and holler, but what the people and situations around you need right now is a level head; someone who can navigate them through these emotional waters. You may need to seek guidance to help you do this. Just be sure to look for someone or something that will help you keep control of your emotions. Follow the example that keeps you calm and successful and you will become that example for those around you.

Did you do a reading for this week? What results did you get? Have a different interpretation? Be sure to check back and let us know how your week goes!


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Reading Fun for the Week of August 24th through 30th 2015

We are changing it up a bit and using the Dream Oracle Cards by Kelly Sullivan Walden. I love these cards, but rarely use them for divination. Unlike other card decks that help dig into details of situations or provide insight into possible future outcomes, I find these are better suited for asking for guidance (think omens and "signs"). For this week, I pulled a single card asking for a message for Bewitching Momma readers to guide us.

Childhood Home
"Remember where you're from and who you really are."

It's time for a bit of self-reflection this week, retro-style. This card is telling you to take a look into your past. Go digging around in it (but don't stay there, just visit). Questions to ask yourself this week:

• Where do you come from?
• Who were you back then?
• How did you survive? (especially for those with negative childhoods)
• What/Who shaped you?
• What changed?
• What wisdom have you forgotten?

Remember, you are looking to the past for clarity to your life today. Have a conversation with your younger self.  Reconnect with the parts of you that were good and that you missed. Allow yourself to feel and let any wounds you have heal. The waters aren't always clear, however, you can find what you're looking for and retrieve it if you're willing to dive in and search.

Did you receive other guidance this week? Has taken a look back helped with any current problems? Are you making any changes based on what you found?

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Reading Fun for the Week of August 17th through 23rd 2015

Was last week a crazy week or what? I know it was for us! Friday's post didn't happen, but never fear, your Monday weekly reading is here. (And cue dorkiness. Oh, wait. I see it's already happened...)

For this week, we're going back to the Celestial Tarot deck. As usual, this reading is for Bewitching Momma readers and anyone who comes across this blog during the week. I was only going to do a single card this week, but went with cards that were jumping out. About a dozen or so jumped out, so I went with a card that stood out among each of the three piles. Guess one card was just too boring.

Two of Swords
Eight of Pentacles
Four of Pentacles

If the conflict was in our heads last week, this week we may see it all around us. Question the sources you look to for answers. Information may be misleading, coincidentally or intentionally. Try to find balance in the conflict. If you look, you can find the truth and follow it, but only if you're open to recognizing it.

Something you've been working on is going to hit a tough spot. This isn't a stalemate or sign you should give up, however. What you need to be doing is staying on target, like the final sprint to the finish line. Discipline and hard work is what is needed right now. You've been training for this moment. It may seem like the end will never come, but all you have to do now is step onto the trail and follow the light. Success is so close! You may even see the new growth resulting from your efforts. You've got just a little bit more to go.

You're stepping out of the conflict (most likely last week's baggage) successful. Take pride in your accomplishments and don't worry about appearing a bit too smug. Enjoy the pleasure. The stars are shining down on you now and telling you to lead the way. (I should probably mention this won't last long, so make sure to make the best of it now. It's a good time to practice living in the present moment.)

Now it's your turn to share! What results did you get? Do you have a different interpretation? How's your week going?


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Reading Fun for the Week of August 10th through 16th 2015

We're doing The Psychic Tarot deck again this week and changing it up a bit before it gets too repetitive. It'll be a 3 card spread, but with a focus on the general energy, relationships, and finances.

General Energy for the Week: Mental Conflict
Relationships for the Week: Memories of Love
Finances for the Week: Rejoice in Celebration (reversed)*

You may find this week a bit tough, but it's all in perception. We start off with some confusion. For some of us, it's a matter of having to choose between goals or who we want to be as things are in flux and these decisions (no matter how small) will play a big role later on.

The same applies to the rest of us, but this card is speaking of the fuzzy or wild thinking that's going on inside our heads. Thoughts are competing for priority and we may find ourselves overwhelmed if we don't find a creative way to keep them all organized right now.

If you do get overwhelmed, use the other energies this week to your advantage.

You may find yourself drifting off to revisit cherished memories (of loved ones, of course). Or those memories may be forcing their way into your mind via spiritual 2x4 (nothing jogs those kinds of memories like a big whack to the head, right?). Find calmness as you look back. Not all memories are happy, but there's something to them that will help soothe the fires going on in our brains this week. If you don't see the happy right away, dive into the waters and go searching for it.

Years ago, I had a woman tell me something very important. Finances weren't great, she was struggling to pay bills, and she worked her butt off. So I was confused when she took her family out for steak dinner. Looking at this card today, her words come to mind. "It may not be smart and it may seem irrational, but sometimes you just have to do something nice like this or you'll go crazy." (Okay, so I paraphrased big time. This was from like 13 years ago.)

Get together with loved ones. Hang out with friends. Do something fun. There's no telling if your financial dreams will come true (not this week, anyway), but you need to relax to give them a chance. Sometimes you just have to go into party-mode and unwind.

If you spend all day every day too focused on the future, you'll drive yourself bat-shit-crazy and that won't get you anywhere. So let loose at least once this week, Be kind to yourself and those around you. It'll work out. But only if you stop getting in your way with all that clogged thinking.

As usual, it's your turn. Did you do a reading for the week you want to share? Did I just jog any of those memories you needed this week? Stop on by throughout the week and let us know how it went!


*I don't put much weight into whether or not a card is reversed. I include that information for those who are doing their own interpretations.

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Reading Fun for the Week of August 3rd - 9th 2015

This week's reading is done with The Psychic Tarot oracle deck. (It's one of my absolute favorites as I feel instantly in-tune with them.) This is another 3 card spread, again, asking about the general energy of the week and anything readers (and visitors) of this blog need to know.

Victory & Success (reversed)*
Recognition & Reward
Triumph

If the titles alone don't give you a hint, this is going to be a good week. But don't get complacent now! It's only good in that goals will be met, desires fulfilled, and accomplishments fruitful. You still have a lot of work to set this outcome in stone.

The horn signaling Victory is the same horn sounding a call to action. You've got to give it all you've got to blow that horn and remember that help is standing by, waiting for you before they act. The best part is you know it's the final push. You've got to give it your all, and the energy is set just right so that your all can make anything happen now. The sunshine is hiding just behind the clouds and blowing that horn moves the clouds.

This energy (and your willful actions) will turn the spotlight on you. Accept the praise humbly and remember this is a quiet applause. It's your diligence that makes things happen and that's what's being recognized. Ulterior motives or self-oriented goals aren't what's getting you on others' good side. Think community efforts.

As you reach success this week, wear your colors with pride. You know who you are and don't be afraid to show it. You can both be humble and know you're awesome. You can be community-oriented and still be an individual.

Listen to the words whispered on the breeze this week. You'll find guidance to keep you determined and focused until Victory and Triumph are yours.

As before, I want to hear your results. Let us know how your week goes! Did you do your own reading for the week? What messages did you receive?


*I don't put much weight into whether or not a card is reversed. I include that information for those who are doing their own interpretations.


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Why I'm Done Doing What Everyone Else Says I Should [MOVED]

This article has relocated. To read this post follow the link below.

Article is now at https://www.evylynrose.com/blog/old-blog-posts/done-doing-what-others-say

Reading Fun for the Week of July 27th - August 2nd 2015

Mondays are busy, and dull. Stuff you didn't get done last week and anything that popped up over the weekend piles up. Mondays just suck. So, because I don't like Mondays, we're going to do something fun to make them better! Every Monday, I will post a brief reading for the week. It's a general reading for Bewitching Momma readers (or anyone who happens across this blog during the week). I'll typically stick to cards, though I may occasionally throw in some other mediums. Anything to make Monday less of a drag!

Today's reading comes from the Celestial Tarot deck. It's a 3 card reading, asking about the energy for the week and anything you, my readers, need to know.

Eight of Wands (reversed)*
I The Magician
Prince of Wands (reversed)*

This week's energy appears to be all about purging the old and committing to the new. Whether what you're losing is burned away intentionally or comes as a complete surprise, you're accepting of the losses. Getting rid of the old's clearing up some stuff you'd really like to be rid of anyway (like negative relationships, sources of conflict, fears, etc.).

You're in control now and know exactly how to harness your power. You're standing strong and communications will run smoothly on your part. Make sure you take advantage of this now as you're about to start a new venture or project that needs all that confidence and energy!

The path ahead will be long and require discipline and commitment. But don't be discouraged! You'll reach your goal and have teachers, mentors, and other examples who will inspire you along the way. Keep your focus on the path ahead, as now isn't the time to look back!

Now it's your turn to chime in! Did you do a reading for the week? What guidance did you receive? Do you disagree with today's reading? As the week progresses, keep us posted and let us know how your week went!


*I don't put much weight into whether or not a card is reversed. I include that information for those who are doing their own interpretations.


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