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Roanoke Witches & Pagans Round 2 - Arm Yourselves With Awareness
Several months ago, I posted a bit of a ranting vent about a start-up Witch and Pagan group in the Roanoke, Virginia area and the anti-child attitude I got side-blinded by. But what made it worse than basically being told I had no place in the local Pagan community as a single parent with a small child were all the little things about the exchange that were little red flags of a dysfunctional group.
So imagine my annoyance when I get an email from Meetup.com about a new group in the area with an eerily similar name. The snippet of the description was equally similar enough to set off warning flares. Are we sure this is a "new" group? I tried to withhold judgement and looked it up. Sure enough, it was different, but in a shortened and condensed (and less biographical) version of the previous group's description. (I was quite relieved to see the "18+ only" prominently displayed, letting me know not to waste my time. So at least there was that.)
Out of curiosity, I tried looking up the old group and it was gone. So it kind of gives me the idea that the old group did not pan out well &, sure to my previous prediction, the old organizer's pattern of failed attempts at getting groups running continued. But what bugged me out was checking my messages and seeing that the old organizer had deleted his profile.
Since I have no interaction with this allegedly new group, anything I could comment would be purely speculative and that's just not helpful to anyone. Honestly, my suspicion is it's probably just people who had been part of the old group having an "I can do way better than that last guy" attitude and having only the best of intentions. In which case, I wish them all the best.
Whether or not I'm simply donning my usual rose-colored glasses, what irked me the most about seeing all these little things is the possibility of there being something legitimately sketchy about it. That's not saying you should avoid this particular group. It's more an acknowledgment of how easy it would be in this area for a dysfunctional or abusive group to sprout up in the Pagan community and no one really be fully aware of it.
The Pagan community here is very small and spaced out (especially compared to what I'm used to back in Colorado). Those who are "loud and proud" - or even just open - about their spirituality are noticeably rarer. For those seeking a group, there isn't much of any to choose from, those that are can be hard to find or get in touch with, and the chances of anyone around here having much experience with a Pagan-centered group outside of the internet world is slim.
So when I say ignorance of what to watch out for is high around here, I mean that in the "how can you possibly know?" sense. The odds are against anyone here who has never had experiences with larger Pagan communities.
In the post from months ago, I referenced the Issac Bonewit's method of evaluating cult danger with a group. But, let's face it, that may not be the best tool for everyone. So this time, I'm going to refer you to some great articles on this very subject of red flags and things to watch out for when joining a Pagan group or Witch coven.
Bronwen Forbes goes into some details about what to watch out for - good and bad - in a potential group or coven. She touches on ritual, leadership, money, and even how to leave a group.
How to Spot a Terrible Coven
Thorn Mooney gives no-nonsense, straight-forward point-by-point steps to take when checking out and deciding on a coven. If you read nothing else on this subject, read these points and you will be all the better (and safer!) for it.
Warning Signs In Prospective Covens - Red Flags to Watch Out For
A favorite of mine, Patti Wigington touches on this subject very well. Again, if all you read are the 8 points she provides, you will avoid much heartache, pain, and potential danger. In addition to providing what to watch out for and how to avoid bad situations, this one also embeds tips for finding the right group/coven for you.
So wherever you live, no matter your experience level, age, path, etc. be sure to know what to watch out for. Don't take someone else's word for it. Determine if a group is safe, healthy, and right for you for yourself. But do it armed with knowledge and awareness of what to watch out for. And, for your sake, make being aware and safe a higher priority than being part of a group.
Safe travels & happy gatherings,
Evy
So imagine my annoyance when I get an email from Meetup.com about a new group in the area with an eerily similar name. The snippet of the description was equally similar enough to set off warning flares. Are we sure this is a "new" group? I tried to withhold judgement and looked it up. Sure enough, it was different, but in a shortened and condensed (and less biographical) version of the previous group's description. (I was quite relieved to see the "18+ only" prominently displayed, letting me know not to waste my time. So at least there was that.)
Out of curiosity, I tried looking up the old group and it was gone. So it kind of gives me the idea that the old group did not pan out well &, sure to my previous prediction, the old organizer's pattern of failed attempts at getting groups running continued. But what bugged me out was checking my messages and seeing that the old organizer had deleted his profile.
Sketchy. Sketchy. Sketchy.
Since I have no interaction with this allegedly new group, anything I could comment would be purely speculative and that's just not helpful to anyone. Honestly, my suspicion is it's probably just people who had been part of the old group having an "I can do way better than that last guy" attitude and having only the best of intentions. In which case, I wish them all the best.
Whether or not I'm simply donning my usual rose-colored glasses, what irked me the most about seeing all these little things is the possibility of there being something legitimately sketchy about it. That's not saying you should avoid this particular group. It's more an acknowledgment of how easy it would be in this area for a dysfunctional or abusive group to sprout up in the Pagan community and no one really be fully aware of it.
The Pagan community here is very small and spaced out (especially compared to what I'm used to back in Colorado). Those who are "loud and proud" - or even just open - about their spirituality are noticeably rarer. For those seeking a group, there isn't much of any to choose from, those that are can be hard to find or get in touch with, and the chances of anyone around here having much experience with a Pagan-centered group outside of the internet world is slim.
So when I say ignorance of what to watch out for is high around here, I mean that in the "how can you possibly know?" sense. The odds are against anyone here who has never had experiences with larger Pagan communities.
In the post from months ago, I referenced the Issac Bonewit's method of evaluating cult danger with a group. But, let's face it, that may not be the best tool for everyone. So this time, I'm going to refer you to some great articles on this very subject of red flags and things to watch out for when joining a Pagan group or Witch coven.
How to Spot a Terrible Coven
Thorn Mooney gives no-nonsense, straight-forward point-by-point steps to take when checking out and deciding on a coven. If you read nothing else on this subject, read these points and you will be all the better (and safer!) for it.
Warning Signs In Prospective Covens - Red Flags to Watch Out For
A favorite of mine, Patti Wigington touches on this subject very well. Again, if all you read are the 8 points she provides, you will avoid much heartache, pain, and potential danger. In addition to providing what to watch out for and how to avoid bad situations, this one also embeds tips for finding the right group/coven for you.
So wherever you live, no matter your experience level, age, path, etc. be sure to know what to watch out for. Don't take someone else's word for it. Determine if a group is safe, healthy, and right for you for yourself. But do it armed with knowledge and awareness of what to watch out for. And, for your sake, make being aware and safe a higher priority than being part of a group.
Safe travels & happy gatherings,
Evy
Therapy Sucks, That's How You Know It's Working [MOVED]
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The Journey Behind Reviewing a Book
Last October, I was contacted by an author to read his book. At the time, I was having a very difficult time, to say the least. My new job (the absolute perfect job for me at present) took me out of state for a 6-week training. The first couple weeks were hell for me. The training itself was easy, but the financial aspect left me in a place of hell-bent self-prophesying a worst-case scenario. The last thing on my mind was attending to emails.
Ultimately, I found myself in a choice. The worst case scenario of my situation would have validated a thought that trying (at this thing called life) simply wasn't worth it anymore. I tried and tried, and all my efforts lead back to failure. So one day, I gave myself the right to have that choice. Keep trying and struggle fruitlessly, end it now, or have fun until that worst case scenario I was so sure was unavoidable and end it then. Seeing as how my son was with me, I opted for fun. We simply made the best of our circumstances and enjoyed ourselves.
The funny thing about that decision -- to just let go and take what the Universe was going to dish out -- was the result. The worst case scenario never came. It didn't even get close. In fact, life turned completely around, doors of positive opportunity and support burst open, and the world became a safe and manageable place again (even when it still sucks or tries to scare the shit out of you). The blessings are still pouring in. I would say "If I had known that it worked like that, I'd have done it years ago," but, honestly, the truth is you can't really know better until you just do it: Completely surrender to the ebb and flow. (Side note: To any of you who have ever heard me say, "I just want to be proved wrong," well, the Universe just proved me wrong and I'm eternally grateful for it.)
Last month, I finally sat down to catch up on all those emails I had intentionally ignored. I got back to that author. His name is Jerry McDaniel and his book is Channeling the Mothership. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant. My mind instantly went to alien conspiracy theories, and, while I do grasp a few non-conspiracy alien theories to be worth contemplating and finding the truth in, it's not really my area of expertise.
So I looked up the book to get a better idea of what it was about and was in awe. Questions about "are we alone or connected?" and topics dealing with intuition, mediumship, free will, karma, the Higher Self, etc. All things that had been on my mind and in line with omens and messages I had been receiving. This was definitely a book I needed to check out. I asked him to send it my way.
When Channeling the Mothership arrived, the very first thing I noticed was Jerry's message to me. Three words. Just three words, and all words I need to hear, need to remember, and need to work on. Jerry McDaniel is a psychic medium and clairvoyant. He reaches out to me at a potentially terrifying turning point in my life. He writes a message to me that resonates every part of my body. I think his Higher Self was having a good, long chat with my Higher Self while I was busy attending to my ego.
At first, I dived right in without wasting a second. That first chapter didn't include anything that was particularly new to me, and yet I was blown away by it. Great reminders and questions worth answering (even though I had answered some of them before). What a fantastic tool! And I was already building my list of people I want to pass this book onto; some like me who may not see it as new, but valuable, and others who it will be very new and much needed.
And then resistance set in. It wasn't immediately obvious that's what it was. It was the holidays and there was stuff (and more stuff) going on -- all different stories for another time. But there were slow moments and after-the-holidays moments and I was like, "I'm going to sit down and read tonight." But didn't. Oh, there were lists of reasons why. Exhaustion (oh, yeah, turns out my vitamin D is extra low this year. My bad), lack of time, other priorities, etc., etc. Eventually I did pick it up as intended, and it was like perfect timing all over again. The very things coming through to me were sure enough right here in the pages in front of me. I'm totally going to finish it.
But then I didn't. That resistance rushed in again. Only, this time, I called it what it was: Resistance. Why was I resisting? What was I resisting exactly? How do I overcome it? What's getting in my way? On and on. Sometimes I asked the question and let it go (guilt has a way of doing that). Other times I sat with it. No idea. At least not yet.
Thankfully, Jerry reached back out to me to check if I'd had the chance to review the book. And, of course, guilt washed over me. Horrible, terrible guilt. No, I had not. Have to finish reading to write a review and I was being a very, very bad reader by not reading. But just as guilt has a way of making us turn away from looking at the things we don't want, it's also a super helpful emotion to motivate you to get your ass in gear. So I finished reading Channeling the Mothership.
I didn't do it right then and there, mind you. This is a book with questions. Questions that if you don't at least ask yourself (even if you don't have an answer yet), you aren't absorbing the messages this book provides. So I gave myself two nights, after getting my son to bed, to spend a couple hours reading, contemplating, answering questions, and making notes (at the back of the book are lined pages for you to write whatever you like on each chapter). When I finished it, I was happy. Not because I'd finished it, but because I thoroughly enjoyed it (and, yes, I chuckled at myself quite a bit when Jerry talks about resistance).
I wrote and published the reviews (the first draft was complete shit that failed to do any level of justice for Channeling the Mothership, so I scrapped it; I hope what you see published elsewhere encourages you to read this book). And now I'm writing up this long, little story about the experience of reviewing it. At least, that's what it probably sounds like to you.
The truth is, when I thought about writing up a blog post review of Channeling the Mothership, it didn't feel right. I love the book and highly encourage you to read it. But more importantly, we all understand that anyone can write a book about anything, have it published, and people like it. When it comes to discerning the truth, things get trickier. Whether it's the title, the cover, the style, or even the message within a book, we can be very skeptical. For me, it's easy to read Jerry's book and know that his messages are truth because they are messages I already have experienced or was in the midst of experiencing as I read it. For others, powers of skepticism can sometimes blind us from messages of truth. And for that, you need validation.
This post is the validation. I have never sat down with Jerry or had a full conversation (our emails are rather short and to the point; quite a feat for someone as verbose as me). He has never given me a reading and I certainly don't recall any loved ones who've passed running it by me to seek him out. And yet, his timing to reach out to me, his three-word message to me, his book and the messages it brings, and his poke at my bewildering resistance speaks volumes. I don't know if it was intentional all along. I don't know if he consciously was aware of all this. (Given my experiences with intuition and psychicism, that's pretty close to never the case.) Still, he did it. That's legit in my book. And it speaks volumes to the validity of everything you find in Channeling the Mothership.
Thank you, Jerry!
Blessings,
Evy
Ultimately, I found myself in a choice. The worst case scenario of my situation would have validated a thought that trying (at this thing called life) simply wasn't worth it anymore. I tried and tried, and all my efforts lead back to failure. So one day, I gave myself the right to have that choice. Keep trying and struggle fruitlessly, end it now, or have fun until that worst case scenario I was so sure was unavoidable and end it then. Seeing as how my son was with me, I opted for fun. We simply made the best of our circumstances and enjoyed ourselves.
The funny thing about that decision -- to just let go and take what the Universe was going to dish out -- was the result. The worst case scenario never came. It didn't even get close. In fact, life turned completely around, doors of positive opportunity and support burst open, and the world became a safe and manageable place again (even when it still sucks or tries to scare the shit out of you). The blessings are still pouring in. I would say "If I had known that it worked like that, I'd have done it years ago," but, honestly, the truth is you can't really know better until you just do it: Completely surrender to the ebb and flow. (Side note: To any of you who have ever heard me say, "I just want to be proved wrong," well, the Universe just proved me wrong and I'm eternally grateful for it.)
Last month, I finally sat down to catch up on all those emails I had intentionally ignored. I got back to that author. His name is Jerry McDaniel and his book is Channeling the Mothership. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant. My mind instantly went to alien conspiracy theories, and, while I do grasp a few non-conspiracy alien theories to be worth contemplating and finding the truth in, it's not really my area of expertise.
When Channeling the Mothership arrived, the very first thing I noticed was Jerry's message to me. Three words. Just three words, and all words I need to hear, need to remember, and need to work on. Jerry McDaniel is a psychic medium and clairvoyant. He reaches out to me at a potentially terrifying turning point in my life. He writes a message to me that resonates every part of my body. I think his Higher Self was having a good, long chat with my Higher Self while I was busy attending to my ego.
At first, I dived right in without wasting a second. That first chapter didn't include anything that was particularly new to me, and yet I was blown away by it. Great reminders and questions worth answering (even though I had answered some of them before). What a fantastic tool! And I was already building my list of people I want to pass this book onto; some like me who may not see it as new, but valuable, and others who it will be very new and much needed.
And then resistance set in. It wasn't immediately obvious that's what it was. It was the holidays and there was stuff (and more stuff) going on -- all different stories for another time. But there were slow moments and after-the-holidays moments and I was like, "I'm going to sit down and read tonight." But didn't. Oh, there were lists of reasons why. Exhaustion (oh, yeah, turns out my vitamin D is extra low this year. My bad), lack of time, other priorities, etc., etc. Eventually I did pick it up as intended, and it was like perfect timing all over again. The very things coming through to me were sure enough right here in the pages in front of me. I'm totally going to finish it.
But then I didn't. That resistance rushed in again. Only, this time, I called it what it was: Resistance. Why was I resisting? What was I resisting exactly? How do I overcome it? What's getting in my way? On and on. Sometimes I asked the question and let it go (guilt has a way of doing that). Other times I sat with it. No idea. At least not yet.
Thankfully, Jerry reached back out to me to check if I'd had the chance to review the book. And, of course, guilt washed over me. Horrible, terrible guilt. No, I had not. Have to finish reading to write a review and I was being a very, very bad reader by not reading. But just as guilt has a way of making us turn away from looking at the things we don't want, it's also a super helpful emotion to motivate you to get your ass in gear. So I finished reading Channeling the Mothership.
I didn't do it right then and there, mind you. This is a book with questions. Questions that if you don't at least ask yourself (even if you don't have an answer yet), you aren't absorbing the messages this book provides. So I gave myself two nights, after getting my son to bed, to spend a couple hours reading, contemplating, answering questions, and making notes (at the back of the book are lined pages for you to write whatever you like on each chapter). When I finished it, I was happy. Not because I'd finished it, but because I thoroughly enjoyed it (and, yes, I chuckled at myself quite a bit when Jerry talks about resistance).
I wrote and published the reviews (the first draft was complete shit that failed to do any level of justice for Channeling the Mothership, so I scrapped it; I hope what you see published elsewhere encourages you to read this book). And now I'm writing up this long, little story about the experience of reviewing it. At least, that's what it probably sounds like to you.
The truth is, when I thought about writing up a blog post review of Channeling the Mothership, it didn't feel right. I love the book and highly encourage you to read it. But more importantly, we all understand that anyone can write a book about anything, have it published, and people like it. When it comes to discerning the truth, things get trickier. Whether it's the title, the cover, the style, or even the message within a book, we can be very skeptical. For me, it's easy to read Jerry's book and know that his messages are truth because they are messages I already have experienced or was in the midst of experiencing as I read it. For others, powers of skepticism can sometimes blind us from messages of truth. And for that, you need validation.
This post is the validation. I have never sat down with Jerry or had a full conversation (our emails are rather short and to the point; quite a feat for someone as verbose as me). He has never given me a reading and I certainly don't recall any loved ones who've passed running it by me to seek him out. And yet, his timing to reach out to me, his three-word message to me, his book and the messages it brings, and his poke at my bewildering resistance speaks volumes. I don't know if it was intentional all along. I don't know if he consciously was aware of all this. (Given my experiences with intuition and psychicism, that's pretty close to never the case.) Still, he did it. That's legit in my book. And it speaks volumes to the validity of everything you find in Channeling the Mothership.
Thank you, Jerry!
Blessings,
Evy
Thoughts on The Witch's Journey - A Review of Sorts
When Elaanie S reached out to me about her new book and offered to let me read it, I was stoked. The title alone, The Witch's Jouney: Cutting the Cords of Christian Dogma, likely wouldn't have caught my attention right away. Sounds interesting, but my To-Read list grows ever longer everyday and I'm not a particularly quick reader (not to mention the downside to being multi-passionate means breaking down each of my passions into smaller, crunched-time segments). But she gave me a synopsis and I knew I needed to read it; Especially as a Witch in the South who is not from the South and still acclimating socially.
I'm going to start out with saying that this is a must-read for anyone. If you are a Witch coming from a Christian background or family in particular. But also if you are a Pagan or anyone of a non-Christian religion or spirituality. Even if you are atheist or consider yourself to be secular in your way of thinking and moving about the world. Simply living in a Christian-dominated society, makes this an important read. But I extend this reading suggestion to all.
I absolutely do recommend this book to any Christians who want to understand why anyone would ever choose a non-Christian path beyond an over-simplified and vague Christian-based answer. Who may have questions about their own faith and not knowing how to go about getting answers. Who may have friends or family who are Witches and want to understand where they are coming from. Not to discard your faith, but to know it and understand it personally. To answer the frustrating question of why a non-Christian may have animosity toward Christianity or the Bible or scripture. To challenge your beliefs, connect deeper with God, and strengthen your faith with the clearest of sight.
Bottom line, check this book out. Definitely. (And if you're thinking I'm saying all this just because I was asked to read it, I'll have you know that several of my reviews on Messages in the Moonlight over the years were books I was asked to review and a couple of them, well, let's just say I did not help with sales on those titles!)
Before I tell you about the reasons why this book was a phenomenal read for me, I'm going to point out some flaws. And by "flaws" I mean I had pet-peeves triggered. Elaanie did an amazing job relieving those triggers.
The first was right in the opening. Like so many books on the topic of Wicca and Witchcraft in recent decades, there's the heavily implied "lineage of Witchcraft tradition spanning back to the beginning of man, surviving underground through persecution of Witches in which so many Witches died" thing going on. I had to take care not to let this personal pet peeve get in the way of taking in what's in front of me, though. See, when it comes to this particular area, I tend to acknowledge--with hypersensitivity--that the average reader does not (yet) possess enough detailed knowledge on the subject to understand that Elaanie isn't making fantastical claims. It could be easily misunderstood by someone hearing of it for the first time, but no big foul. Especially considering that this lasts for all of about a page. (Yes. Meaning I am making a big stink out of a whole lot of not-a-big-deal.)
But as I read it, it made me flip to the bibliography so I could find where she was coming from. Looking at it, I could feel my eye twitching on the verge of having its own stroke. While there's great sources in there, I was freaking out by the list of Wikipedia entries. Wikipedia is a great "quick look-up, remember anyone can edit it, answer a simple question" resource. Scholarly, it is not. (Note: "Can be" is not the same as "is.") But I wanted to read this book, and so I did. If a bibliography referencing Wikipedia is a petpeeve for you, Elaanie will ease your anxieties as you read The Witch's Journey all the way through. It's obvious she has spent a lot of time researching over the years to come to her conclusions. What she shares with you is legit. It can be a pain in the ass hunting down and referencing every single source you originally heard or learned something from. (I've totally been there!) It's much easier to use a source like Wikipedia as a refresher to help with sharing the information.
The only other eyebrow raiser is the occasional "Witches believe" or "Witchcraft is" moment that I know several Witches who would be ready to argue is not representative of all Witches and forms of Witchcraft. I'm not going to say much about this point, because, if you're paying attention while reading The Witch's Journey, Elaanie makes it painfully clear again and again that nothing is 100% "this or that" and that there's a whole lot of grey. (Plus other books can cover such topics more in-depth.)
And now for how I really feel about this book:
Elaanie starts off by telling her story. Throughout the book, she does not tell the story in perfect "time is linear" chronlogical fashion. Instead, her "naturally Witchiness" shows as a more circular or cyclical timeline is presented. I admit, I had a little trouble relating at first, because her story is so very different from my own. But not an unfamiliar story to me. Once you put everything into the context of culture during the time and where it took place, it all makes total sense why Elaanie's path presented and manifested in the way that it did. Each of our stories unfolded the way they did because that's how they needed to.
As I followed along, I found myself struggling personally. I had a little sleeplessness the first night when I began to read The Witch's Journey. My thoughts were spinning and looping memories of experiences in churches, various denominations, heated conversations with friends, insulting moments of invalidation from loved ones. (In hindsight, I maybe should have picked a better stopping point right before going to bed!) Elaanie's story may be personal and specific to her, but in sharing her experiences with us, she manages to drag out all the things we've left buried. You might think that's not a selling point, but I assure you: Dredging up the past and old hurts is exactly what has to happen if you are to find healing. And that's what I experienced.
As her story-telling moved onto her catalyst that led her to her true path, I cried. It's not common to feel a sense of real, unspoken connection with someone you've never met to such a degree. I was floored. Thank you, Elaanie, for sharing that moment of pain, confusion, and awakening with us.
After that moment, her story begins to resemble a common history. It's a pattern I would say most Witches are all too familiar with having gone through it ourselves. From this point on in the book, we are all on the same wavelength and sharing an experience long past for some, more recent for others, and currently or soon-to-be for still other Witches.
I absolutely loved the way Elaanie breaks down hang-ups in Christianity. Breaking into digestible pieces of questions with answers and the understanding that the answers will go even deeper, but different for each individual. She also ties these things with how they impact our society outside of the practice of Christian faith. And that, makes this book invaluable in our day and age in this society. The book covers history/mythology briefly as well as components of Witchcraft-related beliefs, practices, and worldview all while addressing the Christian perspective and how it hinders or helps in our understanding.
And Elaanie never fails to point out indisbutable science! Anyone who knows me personally knows I'm a huge nerd and have a tendency of snapping into textbook mode; explaining Witch, Pagan, and other beliefs in terms of or in relation to science. I'm so tickled when I see someone else do the same! I was especially ecstatic as I read my own theory of the Universe when explaining the Witch view of the Divine. It's so beautiful knowing this is a conclusion other Witches have come to. (And I suppose I should stop referring to it as "my own theory.")
Throughout The Witch's Journey, the concept of sin is brought up. For the most part, I enjoyed Elaanie's tackling of the subject. Although I have to argue to some degree, if only to carry on the conversation. A friend once put my feelings on sin perfectly. My friend explained to me that the original meaning for the word "sin" was simply "missing the mark." While reading this book, I took time to reflect on that again. I've been criticized by fellow Witches for holding onto the concept of sin. But for me, I take all the dogma and theology out of it. I see it like this:
In living our lives, we are shooting arrows at a target. Where our arrows land is who we are (or presenting to be) in the moment. At the center of our target is our true, authentic selves. Now, we aren't all the best of shots. And even the best among us occasionally miss our mark. Outside influences, someone nudging our arms as we let the arrow loose, random wind burst, intoxication, etc. are contributing factors. When we miss the center, I would call that sin. But what's wrong with missing the center of the target? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No harm, no need for judgment. It's a learning opportunity. Try again.
It's when we miss the center and leave it at that or start firing randomly or giving up and just accepting that we'll never hit the center that sin becomes a problem. When we give up living as our true authentic selves, no matter the reason, that is when sin becomes worth noting. But calling oneself a sinner (or begging for forgiveness) alone is fruitless. It's a wake-up call to nock the next arrow and try again. Keep trying and you get closer to the center. And before long (okay, so it feels like a long time, and can feel fucking infuriating) you will hit the center again.
For me, the way The Witch's Journey covers the subject of sin shows where the concept got lost and how it isn't helpful. So much dogma and attempts to define the Divine in limited terms results in striving for a "perfect" way of being and living. It is a false "authentic self" because it does not take into account the individual selves as, they are meant to be. If you are aiming at a very specific way of being that is not in alignment with your personal, unique authentic self, you aren't aiming at the center of your target. You're aiming at someone else's. And that doesn't help anyone.
Perhaps one of the best things about this book is that it covers a wealth of information, but does so concisely. It won't take you months to get through. And it took me two weeks only because I took my time with it and dragged it out as I absorbed (and healed). Elaanie provides a great starting point to do your own research if you want to know more. But even as a standalone, you will be more knowledgeable with it than without.
Bottom line, this book is fantastic. As the subtitle says: "Cutting the Cords of Christian Dogma." At the end of the day, no matter how you feel about Christianity in part or whole, whether you are Christian or not, the Christian religion—and most certainly a Christian faith—is not the problem; Christian Dogma is. And if you are trying to force it to fit you and denying your authentic self in the process, well, now, you're just sinning, aren't you? And hey, we've all been there. Take a deep breath, open your eyes, and find the target you and you alone were meant to reach.
Wishing you bright blessings whatever your path,
Evy
I'm going to start out with saying that this is a must-read for anyone. If you are a Witch coming from a Christian background or family in particular. But also if you are a Pagan or anyone of a non-Christian religion or spirituality. Even if you are atheist or consider yourself to be secular in your way of thinking and moving about the world. Simply living in a Christian-dominated society, makes this an important read. But I extend this reading suggestion to all.
I absolutely do recommend this book to any Christians who want to understand why anyone would ever choose a non-Christian path beyond an over-simplified and vague Christian-based answer. Who may have questions about their own faith and not knowing how to go about getting answers. Who may have friends or family who are Witches and want to understand where they are coming from. Not to discard your faith, but to know it and understand it personally. To answer the frustrating question of why a non-Christian may have animosity toward Christianity or the Bible or scripture. To challenge your beliefs, connect deeper with God, and strengthen your faith with the clearest of sight.
Bottom line, check this book out. Definitely. (And if you're thinking I'm saying all this just because I was asked to read it, I'll have you know that several of my reviews on Messages in the Moonlight over the years were books I was asked to review and a couple of them, well, let's just say I did not help with sales on those titles!)
Before I tell you about the reasons why this book was a phenomenal read for me, I'm going to point out some flaws. And by "flaws" I mean I had pet-peeves triggered. Elaanie did an amazing job relieving those triggers.
The first was right in the opening. Like so many books on the topic of Wicca and Witchcraft in recent decades, there's the heavily implied "lineage of Witchcraft tradition spanning back to the beginning of man, surviving underground through persecution of Witches in which so many Witches died" thing going on. I had to take care not to let this personal pet peeve get in the way of taking in what's in front of me, though. See, when it comes to this particular area, I tend to acknowledge--with hypersensitivity--that the average reader does not (yet) possess enough detailed knowledge on the subject to understand that Elaanie isn't making fantastical claims. It could be easily misunderstood by someone hearing of it for the first time, but no big foul. Especially considering that this lasts for all of about a page. (Yes. Meaning I am making a big stink out of a whole lot of not-a-big-deal.)
But as I read it, it made me flip to the bibliography so I could find where she was coming from. Looking at it, I could feel my eye twitching on the verge of having its own stroke. While there's great sources in there, I was freaking out by the list of Wikipedia entries. Wikipedia is a great "quick look-up, remember anyone can edit it, answer a simple question" resource. Scholarly, it is not. (Note: "Can be" is not the same as "is.") But I wanted to read this book, and so I did. If a bibliography referencing Wikipedia is a petpeeve for you, Elaanie will ease your anxieties as you read The Witch's Journey all the way through. It's obvious she has spent a lot of time researching over the years to come to her conclusions. What she shares with you is legit. It can be a pain in the ass hunting down and referencing every single source you originally heard or learned something from. (I've totally been there!) It's much easier to use a source like Wikipedia as a refresher to help with sharing the information.
The only other eyebrow raiser is the occasional "Witches believe" or "Witchcraft is" moment that I know several Witches who would be ready to argue is not representative of all Witches and forms of Witchcraft. I'm not going to say much about this point, because, if you're paying attention while reading The Witch's Journey, Elaanie makes it painfully clear again and again that nothing is 100% "this or that" and that there's a whole lot of grey. (Plus other books can cover such topics more in-depth.)
And now for how I really feel about this book:
Elaanie starts off by telling her story. Throughout the book, she does not tell the story in perfect "time is linear" chronlogical fashion. Instead, her "naturally Witchiness" shows as a more circular or cyclical timeline is presented. I admit, I had a little trouble relating at first, because her story is so very different from my own. But not an unfamiliar story to me. Once you put everything into the context of culture during the time and where it took place, it all makes total sense why Elaanie's path presented and manifested in the way that it did. Each of our stories unfolded the way they did because that's how they needed to.
As I followed along, I found myself struggling personally. I had a little sleeplessness the first night when I began to read The Witch's Journey. My thoughts were spinning and looping memories of experiences in churches, various denominations, heated conversations with friends, insulting moments of invalidation from loved ones. (In hindsight, I maybe should have picked a better stopping point right before going to bed!) Elaanie's story may be personal and specific to her, but in sharing her experiences with us, she manages to drag out all the things we've left buried. You might think that's not a selling point, but I assure you: Dredging up the past and old hurts is exactly what has to happen if you are to find healing. And that's what I experienced.
As her story-telling moved onto her catalyst that led her to her true path, I cried. It's not common to feel a sense of real, unspoken connection with someone you've never met to such a degree. I was floored. Thank you, Elaanie, for sharing that moment of pain, confusion, and awakening with us.
After that moment, her story begins to resemble a common history. It's a pattern I would say most Witches are all too familiar with having gone through it ourselves. From this point on in the book, we are all on the same wavelength and sharing an experience long past for some, more recent for others, and currently or soon-to-be for still other Witches.
I absolutely loved the way Elaanie breaks down hang-ups in Christianity. Breaking into digestible pieces of questions with answers and the understanding that the answers will go even deeper, but different for each individual. She also ties these things with how they impact our society outside of the practice of Christian faith. And that, makes this book invaluable in our day and age in this society. The book covers history/mythology briefly as well as components of Witchcraft-related beliefs, practices, and worldview all while addressing the Christian perspective and how it hinders or helps in our understanding.
And Elaanie never fails to point out indisbutable science! Anyone who knows me personally knows I'm a huge nerd and have a tendency of snapping into textbook mode; explaining Witch, Pagan, and other beliefs in terms of or in relation to science. I'm so tickled when I see someone else do the same! I was especially ecstatic as I read my own theory of the Universe when explaining the Witch view of the Divine. It's so beautiful knowing this is a conclusion other Witches have come to. (And I suppose I should stop referring to it as "my own theory.")
Throughout The Witch's Journey, the concept of sin is brought up. For the most part, I enjoyed Elaanie's tackling of the subject. Although I have to argue to some degree, if only to carry on the conversation. A friend once put my feelings on sin perfectly. My friend explained to me that the original meaning for the word "sin" was simply "missing the mark." While reading this book, I took time to reflect on that again. I've been criticized by fellow Witches for holding onto the concept of sin. But for me, I take all the dogma and theology out of it. I see it like this:
In living our lives, we are shooting arrows at a target. Where our arrows land is who we are (or presenting to be) in the moment. At the center of our target is our true, authentic selves. Now, we aren't all the best of shots. And even the best among us occasionally miss our mark. Outside influences, someone nudging our arms as we let the arrow loose, random wind burst, intoxication, etc. are contributing factors. When we miss the center, I would call that sin. But what's wrong with missing the center of the target? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No harm, no need for judgment. It's a learning opportunity. Try again.
It's when we miss the center and leave it at that or start firing randomly or giving up and just accepting that we'll never hit the center that sin becomes a problem. When we give up living as our true authentic selves, no matter the reason, that is when sin becomes worth noting. But calling oneself a sinner (or begging for forgiveness) alone is fruitless. It's a wake-up call to nock the next arrow and try again. Keep trying and you get closer to the center. And before long (okay, so it feels like a long time, and can feel fucking infuriating) you will hit the center again.
For me, the way The Witch's Journey covers the subject of sin shows where the concept got lost and how it isn't helpful. So much dogma and attempts to define the Divine in limited terms results in striving for a "perfect" way of being and living. It is a false "authentic self" because it does not take into account the individual selves as, they are meant to be. If you are aiming at a very specific way of being that is not in alignment with your personal, unique authentic self, you aren't aiming at the center of your target. You're aiming at someone else's. And that doesn't help anyone.
Perhaps one of the best things about this book is that it covers a wealth of information, but does so concisely. It won't take you months to get through. And it took me two weeks only because I took my time with it and dragged it out as I absorbed (and healed). Elaanie provides a great starting point to do your own research if you want to know more. But even as a standalone, you will be more knowledgeable with it than without.
Bottom line, this book is fantastic. As the subtitle says: "Cutting the Cords of Christian Dogma." At the end of the day, no matter how you feel about Christianity in part or whole, whether you are Christian or not, the Christian religion—and most certainly a Christian faith—is not the problem; Christian Dogma is. And if you are trying to force it to fit you and denying your authentic self in the process, well, now, you're just sinning, aren't you? And hey, we've all been there. Take a deep breath, open your eyes, and find the target you and you alone were meant to reach.
Wishing you bright blessings whatever your path,
Evy
Books That Got Me Through [MOVED]
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Article is now at https://www.evylynrose.com/blog/old-blog-posts/books-that-got-me-through
Roanoke Witches & Pagans Anti-Children?
Normally I keep this kind of stuff to myself and only share it with people who know me outside of the internet, but having the privilege of living in and exposure to Pagan communities outside of this area, I can tell you right now, there's some serious red flags going up, and I'm not keeping quiet about that. For privacy reasons, I'm masking the details. But for those in the local area and community who may stumble upon this, it won't be hard to connect dots and you'll be able to decide for yourselves.
So as Pagans and Witches, my son and I have had a hard time of it in Virginia. Lynchburg was, well, Lynchburg. Roanoke is far more accepting and we aren't getting visits and leaflets in our door on a weekly basis. There's definitely way more Pagans and like-minded folk in the area. But trying to find anyone close by to meet up with regularly and be family-friendly has been fruitless so far. Most of the groups are very upfront about this, specifically stating they are for adults only or the group guidelines and/or descriptions make it clear that the activities taking place are not conducive to the wild abandon and lack of attention span so prominent in two year olds.
So imagine my sheer joy when, very recently, a brand new MeetUp group formed, local, all Witches & Pagans, and described as a "social group" where "We can meet in public places for social interaction, study/discussion, and networking to build communities/covens/temples outside of this meetup." I don't know about you, but what I just heard was safe, family-friendly, and an opportunity to meet with the local religious and spiritual community with the sole intent of finding people of both like-mind and similar circumstances so that we can build our own group.
So.... I could meet wonderful local Pagans, interact with other Witches who are single parents, parents in general, or otherwise part of a family involving small children? We could totally branch off to form a group of Pagans and Witches who participate in family-friendly activities and rituals. This group is not only perfect for me as a full-time single parent, it's a much, much needed resource in this area. I signed up instantly.
Out of the 30+ members who joined in it's first weeks, I was member #3. (I may have actually been #2 as I can recall looking the group up and it was just the organizer, but after I was all signed up, there was at least one other.) When I signed up, I was very forthcoming about the fact that I have a toddler and would only be able to make meetings within specific time-frames and shared those times. I did not hide anything. When the first meetups were announced on July 12th, I went ahead and put in my RSVP with a plus one for my son for the first one that was within my needed time-frame (which is to be the group's second meeting).
That was three weeks ago. Fast-forward to today. I have been eagerly waiting for this get-together and to finally network with the local community who is so very quiet and hidden compared to what I was accustomed to back in Colorado. I've been looking at my calendar the past couple days, happy and excited like a kid knowing the Disneyland trip is coming up. I was ready! So at my lunch today, I see this (minus the whole "blocked" box at the time):
The full message reads:
Hi Evylyn!I'd like to point out to you that, as the organizer clearly states, the meeting he is referring to was the group's very first ever meeting. Anyone who has ever participated in the first meeting of a startup group knows full well that you cannot base the group itself and all it's forthcoming meetings on the first, not well-attended meeting alone. Especially when you consider the organizer has made it a very special point to ensure I am fully aware that both my son and I are welcome so long as I feel comfortable as a parent in bringing him with me.
I am looking forward to meeting you, and hope you can still attend this Saturday's meeting!
I saw that you are bringing a plus one, and mentioned your son in your answer to the group questions. I just wanted to let you know in the case that your son is a minor we do discuss some adult topics. At the first meeting there were very frank discussions about sexuality, substance use, and practices involving darker entities or tools such as bones and blood. There was also a bit of swearing, not as drunken sailors, but as adults sometimes do when excited or making a powerful point.
That being said, 90% of the adult topics were directly related to magic and the practice of those in the group. I am certainly not saying it is inappropriate to bring your child. I just wanted to let you know in advance rather than you finding yourself in a situation that you don't want him to experience. Every person has different maturity levels, and every parent different ideas of what they find acceptable for their children. I wanted you to be informed, as I would never want a minor corrupted by this meetup. So please use your discretion and do what you think is best.
All of that being said, it is a great group of very diverse people, that all found at least something in common with the other. It promises to be a great resource for knowledge sharing and fellowship. So, I hope you will join us, and if you are comfortable, bring your son as well!
Blessings to you and yours!
I (and my phone that was being a particular ass today with only minutes before the end of my lunch left) sent this response:
I have to admit I'm a bit disappointed. One of the first things I noticed about the Pagan community here, aside from being hard to find, is that it's not kid friendly. I was immediately excited to see your group because it's the first I've come across that sounded even remotely family friendly.Even though I'm certain it's obvious that I was having issues with my phone and that last bit was meant to read "But we'll at least get to start networking" (plus more I could not get my phone to cooperate in sending at that moment), I planned to follow up this evening just to be sure. After all, this is someone just as excited to meet me as I am to meet him and the new group. None of them have met me and this was my first direct interaction.
Personally, I'd rather my son be exposed to the discussions. (And trust me, as the offspring of two Army vets, he'll pick up the adult language from his parents before anyone else can take credit for the blame.) So we'll still attend. It'll be right before his naptime, so chances are good that if anything gets out of hand, it'll be one of his tantrums, in which case I can always take him home. Worst case, the group won't be for us
But we'll at least started networking.
But I wouldn't get to. Because this is what I received next:
Again, the full text reads:
You have been removed from [...]If you find yourself saying "what" and pronouncing the silent "h," yes. I feel it, too.
The person who removed you said:
Hello again, Evylyn, I read your email and some concerns were raised. I consulted with my moderators and several founding members and we do not feel comfortable discussing our craft in front of such a young child. If it was a teenager we might be more comfortable, but to avoid legal trouble, and future potential members from joining with the intent of bringing minors, we are going to change our group to be 18+. We took a vote and are putting it into effect tonight. I am sorry that we are not the group for you, and hope you find others for fellowship.
So again, the brief history of this group: Started up a few weeks ago on MeetUp.com. This group, a "social group," has the sole purpose of linking like-minded individuals for the intention to network and build groups outside of this one. The group has approx. 30 members, a single organizer and no moderators. I was among the very first to join the group. No group discussions have taken place. What messages I received were from individuals who seemed to be excited about the group the same as me. No notice whatsoever was ever made or implied that there was any sort of team or council of moderators or "founding members." In the group's description it was (and still remains) worded as "I" which implies this group was founded, is run, and all decisions made by a single entity. (I admit this conclusion could be wrong, but it is the logical conclusion given the description of the group and the first message with the organizer.)
The organizer did, in fact, update the group. The description is entirely the same with brand new "Group Rules" to include #1:
Firstly, this group will discuss adult topics in a very frank manner. For legal purposes and the comfort of many members the group is 18+. Absolutely no minors are allowed to join, or be brought to a meeting as a +1 by any member. This will be a zero tolerance policy, and breaking this rule will result in expulsion from the group.There's only one other rule which is long and drawn out but can be summarized as, don't miss more than 3 meetings and you best show up at least once within the first 6 weeks of joining. (Guess he had to get that one in before the group hit 6 weeks old and he starts removing members without notice...)
He follows these rules up with:
I apologize if these rules seem draconian, or unfair. This meetup is meant to be full of active members, and it is only fair that spaces remain free for those that attend meetings.Apparently, he's only sorry about Rule #2. And why is there no mention of removing and blocking the single parent with no notice and immediately following a reassurance that we were totally welcome to stay?
I readily admit that I am venting right now. The anti-minor attitude is incredibly uncalled for (immaturity present? or just stereotyping?) and the mention of "legal problems" demonstrates ignorance at best. (Fun note: upcoming meetings involve the topics of crystals, plants, and divination. Oh, Gods! The "adult" conversations will kill our babies!) But that's also my perception.
What isn't perception are the observable facts mentioned above and the fact that a member was removed from the group without warning and blocked from all communications with the organizer and the group without any explanation. Consider this: given the initial correspondence, the next logical step (assuming concerns were in fact raised with real-but-unseen moderators and founding members) would have been to contact me, explain what happened, and then provide the option to either continue as a member of the group and not bring my child to meetups or leave the group.
Personally, the ultimatum wouldn't have set off red flags. Because, truthfully, the real issue here isn't that the group went from totally family-friendly to strictly 18+ in a matter of hours in its early days. This, however, does reek of unhealthy group dynamics. So much so, I ranked it as a 40 on the Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Frame (ABCDEF). Out of 180 possible, that's low. So, dangerous? Most likely not. But given that the response to many of the 18 factors is a big "unknown" as someone who was booted out before having the opportunity to speak with and meet any of the group members and leaders in person, that's enough for me to be hesitant (especially considering that what factors I could rate, a couple of them scored as 10s). More likely, this "social group"—in all its one month of existence—is an example of poor planning, faulty communication, and failed team dynamics. We'll see.
So on that note, I'll end with one last quote. The group's description begins:
I have tried to set up a few meetups over the years with varying success in different occult spheres. In the past the meetups were too specific to build a community of a reasonable size...I see the trend continues.
In a mood,
Evy
